That’s what’s great about being an introvert. We’re like social ninjas. We fade into the background, all the better to observe the world around us. And while you’re unaware of our presence, we take over.
No, for real, I’m an introvert. Despite what society has tried to impress upon me, I am not ashamed of that fact. In fact, I kind of relish it. Truthfully, I’m actually quite sociable. Ask my friends; I can be a real chatterbox if you get me going. But, then, after a good old-fashion gab sesh, I can mellow on my own for a while. I don’t need to leave my house every day. In fact, I prefer not to. Netflix + Doctor Who + no one to fight over the remote = Happy Happy Joy Joy.
I don’t have the mental energy to interact with people every day. Introverts find it an effort to be social in terms of those daily interactions many extroverts take for granted. We don’t like small talk. We don’t like chit chat. Being in a huge crowd or at a big, loud party is our idea of torture, not a terrific way to spend a Friday night.
Misinformed extroverts have this idea that introverts are shy, reserved, elusive. What we are is mysterious – until you get to know us.
In the most basic of terms, extroverts thrive on being around people. Their energy reserves fill up with every social interaction. Introverts’ reserves are drained by pointless social interaction. A crowd to an introvert is like being in a room full of energy vampires.
While, of course, there is no one “right” way to be, I personally feel that extroverts got the shaft when it comes to personality.
Extroverts thrive on being around people, so they often know a lot of people. They have many, many acquaintances. Introverts prefer deeper relationships with fewer people. Our list of contacts in our phones might be shorter, but they’re deeper.
Yes, extroverts, you have the quantity of friends, but do you have the quality? Which of your friends can you really count on? Which of your friends is there for you at your lowest?
Introverts do well alone. We can handle silence, an empty house, being in our own heads. If extroverts constantly feel the need to feed on the energy of others, how do they copy when there is no one else around? If you can’t handle being in your own head, how do you live with yourself?
When extroverts talk, what are they saying? Again, quantity versus quality. I’m sure extroverts have many important things to say, but, from my experience, they don’t listen much. If the extroverts are doing all the talking, who do they have listening to them? Oh, yeah. Their introverted friends.
Like I said, there is no one way to be. But, if I’m being honest – and I usually am – I definitely got the better deal by tipping the introverted scale. Are there drawbacks? Sure. I don’t get invited out as much because I have turned down one too many invitations. Now that I’m out of school, where you are forced on a regular basis to make new friends, and I work for myself, I don’t meet as many new people. Yes, I even get lonely.
But, on the whole, I don’t care. Despite we have been told, there is nothing wrong with being introverted. It’s not abnormal. It’s not anti-social. I’m not shy; I just don’t feel like making the effort to start up a conversation that will consist of banal chit chat. If I want social interaction, I don’t want to have to interact with the entire social stratosphere.
Have you heard House Party by Sam Hunt? Pretty much describes my ideal party.
You’re on the couch
Blowing up my phone
You don’t wanna come out
But you don’t wanna be alone
Don’t take but two
To have a little soiree
Just me and one other person I really like jamming out in my house? Sweet!
So, the next time your introverted friend gives you an (obviously fake) excuse not to tag along on your bar crawl or club night, remember: It’s not you. It’s just your personality.